Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize