Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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