what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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