It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize