we're blogging at a bar
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
