hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
