Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
