Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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