Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My vagina just clenched in fear
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
