we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
