Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
