Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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