Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize