i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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