i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
