How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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