Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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