Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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