Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize