There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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