I think i peed on brittanys purse
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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