Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
