So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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