scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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