her vagine was all disorganized.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
