Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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