Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
