I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
