i would punch a child for taco bell
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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