If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sober January is a disaster.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He shit in the fireplace
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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