i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
