So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
