Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
