walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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