how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
