he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
