This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanna passion pit in your ass
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.