Texts From Last Night

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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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  (551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva http://tfl.nu/0m5z
  Replies (84) Good night (5479) Bad night (1729)
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  (585): View more from New York

  okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.

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  (585): okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea. http://tfl.nu/vuoh
  Replies (28) Good night (5719) Bad night (782)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

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  (804): I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store http://tfl.nu/eac9
  Replies (10) Good night (8012) Bad night (892)
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  (661): View more from California

  aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet

  (623): View more from Arizona

  And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs

  (661): View more from California

  Exactly.

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  (661): aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet (623): And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs (661): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/5o7t
  Replies (18) Good night (7098) Bad night (1298)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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  (757): Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/fb35
  Replies (24) Good night (1955) Bad night (5518)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

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  (440): New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron." http://tfl.nu/0r6l
  Replies (26) Good night (6169) Bad night (1153)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night

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  (306): Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night http://tfl.nu/jc2t
  Replies (14) Good night (4216) Bad night (1358)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

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  (314): Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day. http://tfl.nu/blek
  Replies (4) Good night (3248) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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  (+44): When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/m7vb
  Replies (16) Good night (4363) Bad night (1265)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Internet Is back!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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  (860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg
  Replies (7) Good night (1000) Bad night (1308)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.

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  (631): He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes. http://tfl.nu/wcz4
  Replies (7) Good night (1518) Bad night (842)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"

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  (859): Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed" http://tfl.nu/i5mp
  Replies (6) Good night (2090) Bad night (530)
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  (626): View more from California

  Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.

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  (626): Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long. http://tfl.nu/2nw2
  Replies (2) Good night (302) Bad night (751)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left

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  (503): I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left http://tfl.nu/li77
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (493)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.

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  (570): Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM. http://tfl.nu/zh91
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (315)

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