Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
