Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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