READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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