I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
