I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Alive.
So much puke
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
