Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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