So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
