My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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