I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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