they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
