Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
