11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize