dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
