what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
