I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
