In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
