I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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