UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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