We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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