I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
