census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
