True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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