he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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