We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
