last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
