you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
