she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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