i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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