I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
