In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
