AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
