Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize