maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
