i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
